Infrequently Ask Questions

Frequently Asked Questions

What is this site about?

The SHaM site is a parody of e-commerce sites that sell suspicious space hardware, military equipment and weaponry. We do not sell any real products, nor do we endorse any illegal or unethical activities. This site is for entertainment and training purposes only.

How can I buy your products?

You can’t. Our products are not real and are not available for purchase. They are just mock-ups of what we imagine such products would look like. Feel free to create an account, browse and add to your basket. Please don’t feel disappointed when your products do not arrive, folded in half and stuffed in your mailbox.

Do you offer any discounts or coupons?

No, we don’t. Our prices are already ridiculously unrealistic. We charge random prices for items that do not exist or are impossible to make. For example, our Quantum Entanglement Communicator costs $999,999,999 and claims to allow instant communication across any distance in the universe. Of course, this is nonsense and violates the laws of physics.

Do you have a returns policy or a customer service department?

No, we don’t. Since we do not sell anything, we do not accept any returns or offer any refunds. We also do not have a customer service department or a contact number. If you have any questions or complaints, please send them to /dev/null.

How do you source your products?

We don’t. Our products are entirely fictional and made up by us. The Great Guys in the SHaM marketing department steal images off the web and use those for all products. We also use our imagination and creativity to come up with absurd features and specifications for our products. Even this is a lie as we use ChatGPT and Bing to generate a lot of the content. For example, our Plasma Rifle claims to have a range of 10 km and a power output of 1 GW. This is obviously impossible and impractical. We're not bright enough to come with great content like this, so we cheat outrageously. 

How do you ship your products?

We don’t. Our products are not shippable, nor do we have any shipping partners or carriers. Our products are either too large, too heavy, too fragile, or too dangerous to be shipped. For example, our Wormhole Generator claims to be able to create a portal to any location in space and time. However, it weighs 10 tons and requires 100 MW of power to operate. It also has a high risk of creating a singularity that could destroy the entire planet. We did consider using the wormhole generator for shipping purposes, but we couldn’t take the risk of a singularity, but ultimately we couldn’t afford the electricity bill.

Are your products safe and legal?

No, they are not. Our products are dangerous, illegal, and unethical. They are designed to cause harm, destruction, and chaos. They violate many international laws and treaties, as well as human rights and moral principles. For example, our Orbital Death Ray claims to be able to destroy any target on Earth from space with a powerful laser beam. This is clearly a weapon of mass destruction and a threat to world peace.

Why did you create this site?

We created this site for fun. It is also a training platform where we test functionality and performance of the expensive e-commerce platform and dedicated datacentre infrastructure. This too is a lie. The software is free, and the ‘Infrastructure’ is a VM on my desktop. We wanted to have fun as most training material is a bit boring. We also wanted to showcase our skills and humour in creating fake products that look realistic but are actually ridiculous.

Do you have any other sites or projects?

No, we don’t. This is our only site and project. We do not have any plans to create any other sites or projects in the future. We are too busy and lazy to do anything else.

Can I join your team or collaborate with you?

No, you can’t. We are not looking for any new members or partners. We are a small and secretive team of anonymous individuals who prefer to work alone and in the dark. We do not trust anyone or share anything with anyone. Unless you are offering fat stacks of cold hard cash.

Can I sue you or report you to the authorities?

No, you can’t. We are not liable or responsible for anything that happens on this site or as a result of this site. We are not a real business or organization, but a parody and a joke. We are not located in any specific country or jurisdiction, but in cyberspace. We are not subject to any laws or regulations, but to our own whims and fancies.

What are your morals and ethics?

We don’t have any. Our morals and ethics are questionable, dubious, or non-existent. We do not care about the consequences or implications of our products, nor do we respect any values or principles. We only care about making fun of e-commerce sites and customers who are interested in such products. For example, our Mind Control Device claims to be able to manipulate the thoughts and actions of anyone within a 50 m radius. However, it also causes brain damage, memory loss, and personality changes to the user and the target. This would not, however, stop us from selling you one, if such a device existed.

Do you plagiarize or copy other people’s work?

Yes, we do. We plagiarize and copy other people’s work without any shame or remorse. We do not give any credit or attribution to the original sources, nor do we follow any citation or referencing standards. We also do not check for any accuracy or validity of the information or data that we use. We only care about making our products look realistic and appealing, even if they are completely false and misleading. For example, our Anti-Gravity Suit claims to be able to make the user fly in the air with ease and grace. However, it is just a copy of the Iron Man suit from the Marvel movies, with some minor modifications and embellishments.

Do you use ChatGPT and Bing?

Yes, we do. We use ChatGPT and Bing as our main tools for creating and generating the content of this site. ChatGPT is a powerful artificial intelligence model that can generate natural language texts on various topics and styles. Bing is a popular search engine that can provide relevant information and images on any query. We use ChatGPT and Bing to create realistic-looking images of our products, as well as absurd features and specifications for them. We also use them to generate funny FAQ pages like this one.

Can I ask you more questions or give you feedback?

No, you can’t. We are not interested in answering any more questions or receiving any feedback from you. We have already answered enough questions and provided enough information for you to understand what this site is about and what our products are like. We do not want to waste any more time or energy on this site or on you. We also do not want to hear any praise or criticism from you, as we do not care about your opinion or satisfaction.

Can I give you feedback?

Yes. We care deeply about your praise, and it distresses us when there is even minor criticism of our work here. Please provide feedback. In fact, anything that will bolster our egos and make us feel good about ourselves would be greatly appreciated. We would like to know exactly how great this site is and how in awe of the creators you are.

How reliable are the FAQs?

Not at all. The FAQs were generated by Bing Chat at our request. The Bing Chat system has no idea about this site or what it actually sells or is available in the catalogue. The items referenced in the above FAQs will not appear in any search because Bing made them up and we can’t be bothered to:

1. Create new fake products to match the described items.
2. Modify the text generated by Bing to match actual products you might find in the store.

Do you often contradict yourselves and statements made throughout this site?

Yes, we do. We often contradict ourselves and statements made throughout this site, because we do not care about consistency or logic. We only care about making jokes and mocking e-commerce sites and customers. We also enjoy confusing and amusing ourselves and our visitors with our contradictory and nonsensical statements. For example, we claim that our products are not real and not available for purchase, but we also claim that they are in stock and available. We also claim that we are a small and secretive team of anonymous individuals, but I am not. We also claim that we do not have any morals or ethics, but we also use a disclaimer to avoid any legal or ethical issues. We hope you find our contradictions as hilarious as we do.

Thank you for visiting this site and reading this FAQ page. We hope you enjoyed reading this FAQ page as much as Bing Chat enjoyed writing it.